powered by SignMyGuestbook.com
 |
 |
25.08.03 - 6:53 p.m.
Time: 6:53 p.m
Mood: Confused
Music: Audioslave
hello all. sorry i haven't written in awhile. i just...well, there is o excuse for it. i just haven't wanted to. you'll find out when i explain the latest episode in this sad, sad farce of life.
first, i think i am single. not sure though. me and jordan had big, big ass fight. then i tried talking to him and he said he needed more time. so, okay. then he calls me the next day to tell me 'bout sumcomputer virus or something. okay. then, at the end of the call, he says, "shelby, i really do love you." then says he has to go and hangs up. so, i draw the natural conclusion he want's to get back together.
then we talk on msn that night. since i don't know how else to explain it, here is a copy of our convo;
(me)An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
nice name...
(jordan)"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
thanx
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
so, where are we now?
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
like, are we talkin or the same as before?
"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
dunno dun kare
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
i just wanna know. first, your kinda givin me the impression you want space and ya basically don't want me around. then what you said on the phone. it's gotta mean something.
"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
dunno
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
you gotta know. what are you feeling rite now? i'm asking you honestly. you want out, fine. say it and i'll go away. i won't talk to you or anythin ever again if you don't want me to. but, inside, if you feel somethin, i just want this to work. and it ain't gonna work if we don't talk. it's getting to be just really fucking stupid. i know i was wrong and i know i shouldnt'a said what i did
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
but i'm trying to apologize and i just wanna talk, k? i just want some reaction.
"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
im busy
"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
and spazzing isnt helping
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
i'm not spazzing for fucks sake! just hear me out. first your some hitler youth, being all frozen and shit. then you say you love me. and i'm supposed to not react! at all?! i mean, it's still there. i feel somethin. i just want you to feel somethin. yell at me, block me, scream at me, never talk to me again. i don't care. just, for god's sake, i'm going crazy. just, act like your remotely human!
"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
i cant do that...everyone knows me as and emotional reject and thats what i am
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
no, your not. you know your not, i know your not.
"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
i have changed
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
wtf? i don't understand! i can't help you if your gonna be a fucking robot. you feel somethin or at least you did yesterday
"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
i still do im just not in the mood to show it
"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
oh look yvonnes on go ahead and tell her everything
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
why the fuck would i tell her anything? i haven't talked to any1 in 4 days! you were the only person i talked to about what i really felt, aite?
"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
u did it b4
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
no, i didn't. i told you what i felt inside, what i really felt, because you were the reason i felt anything at all! i haven't felt anything in 4 days. just, don't say that! don't try and hurt me summore to make yourself feel better or whatever cuz i'm going thru bout all i think i can handle. if u still care, even the slightest bit about me, then just tell me what you want from me.
"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
i want you to stop emotionaly stabbing me
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
emotionally stabbing you? the fuck is with that? first, you act like you hate me, then on the phone you tell me you love me. is that supposed to not mean anything to me?! i wanna know. i still love you! yeah, still love you. what i don't understand is why you first play my hopes then act like i'm sum heartless bitch who's playing you. if that's what you think i am, your not who i thought you were.
"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
i think u r a gal thats stuck with the wrong b=guy and is afraid to get out
"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
gtg
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
how are you the wrong guy? i love you and i can't stop that.
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
no matter what i do
An Eye For An Eye And The Whole World Goes Blind says:
just, think about it k
"you look like ass you smell like shit so why r u such a dick?you walk around like ur thie tits u always make me sick"-sum41Anic says:
i have been for 4 days
and that was our whole convo. i dunno if what i did was right or not. i just want sumthin to happen. oh well. i don't know what to do so i figure it's best to just leave it alone.
okay, other news. rite now im going to peer mediation, 9 - 3, mon - fri. peer mediation = teens counseling teens, etc. it's pretty cool.
um, i don't really have much else going on. inspite of the whole jordan thing, i'm doing pretty okay. well, i gotta go. but i'll write more tomorrow. buh byez!
~Dj Mayhem
Currantly listening to: Audioslave "Show Me How To Live"
